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I've never had deer meat until this morning when a coworker brought some in. He wanted to share his latest kill with some of us. I can't say that I didn't like it but the first few bites I couldn't get the image of a deer staring me down. I felt rather uncomfortable and even a bit queezy. Nothing dramatic happened. I finished and went on with my day...

The dust has piled up in here. It's been ages since I last wrote something in this space. I've yet to go back and read anything from my journal. It's been over a year yet I remember how close I was to the edge of darkness. I remember the internal struggle, the lengths at which I went to conceal the pain and the chaos terrorizing my mind.



The help I sought provided a bit of peace. The noise in my life dwindled. However, I wasn't sure if it was the medication or the numbness that silenced the more maddening thoughts. I couldn't tell you how many times I wanted to disappear, to check out or slip away faking my own death because I was too scared to check out.



I'll never be the same. I still catch myself every once in a while thinking of other places or a different life. I still have unresolved issues to deal with but I've at least found some balance.